


Within Arm's Reach

by Kajune



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Childhood Memories, Chuck's a+ parenting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt Raphael, Hurt/Comfort, Lullabies, Michael Being A Dick, One Shot, POV Multiple, Raphael needs a hug, Raphael-centric, Season/Series 05, Wow never thought I'd used that tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 22:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11427744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajune/pseuds/Kajune
Summary: As The Apocalypse raged on, Raphael found himself confronting someone he never thought he'd see again.





	Within Arm's Reach

Raphael stood in fury at the center of a ring of holy fire. His rage translated into a violent rain storm that, in time, blew apart the building he was in and washed away the flames binding him to a small circle. He was so horribly tempted to enact revenge on the two morons who put him there, but he knew that God's great plan needed those two safe.

He may not believe in God anymore, but he did believe that the plan God had left behind for his angelic children to conduct was worth every inch of his being. He believed this because he had nothing else to believe. As he flapped his mighty wings and fled the destruction of his temporary prison, Raphael thought about the days leading up to this moment.

Long ago, He lived in a peaceful, organized life that was full of joy and happiness, until God created the humans. Raphael cared little for God's latest creations and thought only of his family, but then something transpired soon after and despite being an archangel, Raphael was ill-informed on the matter. All his elder brother Michael told him was that Lucifer had disobeyed God and needed to be punished. Aside from reminding Raphael and the rest of Heaven to obey God's command at all costs, Michael said little else.

Left with so little information and little reason to doubt it, Raphael sided against Lucifer when the latter declared war on Heaven. He watched stoically as Lucifer was cast into the depths of Hell after he was defeated. Although there were many casualties, Raphael trusted that order would be restored now that Heaven had won, but things barely returned to normal.

God disappeared, leaving not a final word nor an explanation. The youngest archangel too, had vanished, disappearing like he had never existed in the first place. Raphael felt lost and confused by this unexpected turn of events, but when he turned to Michael, his older brother still insisted that God's words were divine order and must be obeyed.

That was when he was told that he must fulfill the prophecy and bring about The Apocalypse, even if it meant lying to all of their siblings and bringing about the deaths of many humans. Raphael accepted this new goal because it was all he had left, and while time took away his faith in God, it only strengthened his desire to fulfill God's prophecy.

God may never return to his throne in Heaven, but Raphael could still hope for the peaceful order he once had to return should the prophecy be fulfilled. The Apocalypse would end in the death of Lucifer, Heaven's greatest traitor, and by Lucifer's death all will be peaceful...again.

As Raphael flew back to Heaven, he wondered to himself, and not for the first time, if he was right to chant reassurances to himself everyday. He wondered if he was just another lost angel or was he someone who knew what they were doing. The sight of his cold and heartless elder brother, the Archangel Michael, helped to restore in his faith in the prophecy.

Still, there were moments when Raphael found himself disturbed by insidious thoughts. He refused to accept that he was lost, refused to accept that he was on the wrong path. Raphael relied on various distractions to keep doubt at bay, and after three days of coming home, Raphael discovered a unique distraction.

It was his unlawful brother, and he was singing.

Raphael was reminded, after millions of years, how much he used to love lullabies.

* * *

Inside an abandoned warehouse, the archangel Lucifer was alone and singing.

He wasn't singing to anyone in particular, but at times when the process to cleanse the Earth of these pests known as humans took longer than expected, Lucifer chose to busy himself by singing. The songs he picked were ones he wrote himself for his younger siblings, years ago. As the former Angel of Song, Lucifer had a talent for music, and while he now resented the years he spent teaching little angels how to sing praises to God, he did not resent the years he spent writing lullabies for his archangel siblings.

Little Raphael and Gabriel craved his singing, and were always so delighted when Lucifer taught them a new song that he wrote. The two of them never became as good as Lucifer when it came to singing, and maybe that was because they preferred to listen rather than learn. Lucifer loved those moments. Sometimes Michael would catch Lucifer singing their brothers into enchanted naps and try to do the same to Lucifer.

Although not a gifted singer like Lucifer himself, Michael once had the ability to make Lucifer's wings and heart flutter with delight. This ability was shattered when Michael proved that Lucifer did not matter so long as God decided it. That was why, Lucifer never sung the songs he learned from Michael, or thought of their happier moments together. He chose to think of his happier moments with Raphael and Gabriel, since they had yet to betray him like Michael did.

To his astonishment, he felt the presence of one of his beloved little brothers while singing one night. He doubted Raphael knew he had been caught sneaking around the building, and while it was possible that Michael had ordered Raphael to come and attack Lucifer for being an unholy angel, Lucifer instinctively knew that the archangel was helplessly attracted to the song Lucifer had chosen to perform.

The building was warded, but Lucifer was too sentimental to prevent an archangel entrance into his latest domain. He kept hoping, however faintly, that his brothers would come and express love to him of some sort. He didn't believe it would ever happen so long as God had brainwashed them, but Lucifer still dreamed of it.

To think his acts would allow for a reunion with Raphael, Lucifer could not hide the smile that was spreading on his vessel's face.

Lucifer kept on singing, choosing a new song when one ended, and kept up the decision to stay put inside a dark and dusty room even though this encounter could go horribly wrong. As Lucifer sung the song he wrote to remind his siblings to remember him always, Lucifer felt that maybe, this event was happening because he and Raphael were longing for each other's company.

Without God's interference, the two should be able to be together. Brainwashed or not, Lucifer's not entirely cold heart still hoped for the good old days to come back. He had an itching feeling that Raphael (and maybe Gabriel also) felt the same way.

After three songs, Lucifer still found himself alone in the room, but he sensed his brother to be very, very close.

"Come to me, Raphael."

The archangel did.

* * *

Raphael emerged from his hiding spot to stand by the door frame, and while his posture appeared stiff as if nothing could knock him down, Raphael had not felt so conflicted in his entire life. Just across the room sat his elder brother Lucifer, the archangel who he had been reminded as well as reminded others was tainted and impure. Vessel or no, Raphael admittedly could not see many traces of the once glorious and beautiful archangel.

Lucifer, in his weak and soon to fray vessel, resembled a demon with his stench of sulfur and mangled, blackened true form, but the look he sent Raphael was gentle, loving and angelic. It made the situation even harder for Raphael to handle.

He felt the strong urge to attack and free this room of a spiteful archangel, to carve words of hate and anger into the vessel's skin so none would question whom they should trust, but Raphael couldn't. As his doubts once told him, Raphael did not truly believe in Michael's words that their brother had become a sinner. Raphael had always preferred to be forgiving, it was in his nature, and even though the years had instilled a strong sense of bitterness inside him, Raphael still wished from the bottom of his heart that he was given a chance to forgive Lucifer.

Raphael wasn't even sure what crime Lucifer had committed. If it truly was the act of rejecting the humans against God's command, then Raphael didn't oppose such thoughts. He had watched the humans fight wars over and over again, with reasons that were beyond petty and disgusting. After Lucifer's banishment, the angels in Heaven were not forced to respect and honor the humans, but they were at least instructed not to interfere with the daily lives of (regular) humans.

As Lucifer sat on a worn wooden chair next to an opened window, Raphael found himself unable to _move_. He felt like he was being judged harshly for every twitch he made, and he had fears that moving forward would cost him his place in Heaven. There was no guarantee that no other archangel wasn't watching, and Raphael actually feared that Michael was eyeing him from above with disappointment.

It was undeniable that Raphael not only relied on Michael for guidance, he also relied on Michael for affection.

Michael had grown too cold to offer the latter, and yet the desire to please Michael in hopes traces of old times would return remained strong. Like a foolish little child, Raphael found himself, in his doubt-clouded mind, wanting to receive affection from Lucifer too. How could he have lived all these years with such childish dreams? Raphael wanted to push back the resurging feelings, but each time he glanced at his brother's welcoming smile, his defenses fell apart like dust.

Raphael found himself stuck at a very dangerous crossroads. He could either move forward or step away, and as someone who had taken steps backwards from desires that could either be fulfilled after the prophecy or never at all, it would be logical for Raphael to do the same again, but he felt the strength to do so waning.

Was Lucifer doing something to him, or was he simply resisting his own, genuine desires?

Raphael should have resisted that alluring song in the first place. He had waited too long to watch Lucifer die so everything could be pea--

"What's the matter, dear brother?"

Raphael's vessel stiffened even further, if possible.

Nothing in Lucifer's posture had changed, he still looked relaxed and welcoming, like he understood why Raphael had strong conflicting feelings and that he was willing to let Raphael make a decision. It reminded the younger archangel, quite painfully, of how patient Lucifer used to be for him back in Heaven.

Raphael remained put, solid and unmoving yet deep down he wanted to do anything but stand still.

He still wasn't sure if Michael was watching him.

After a long, silent minute, Lucifer extended his right arm out towards Raphael, "Do you want to come closer, dear brother?" He did.

As if pulled by an unseen force - and maybe he was being pulled - Raphael walked slowly into the dusty room with sad eyes. Each step felt like a death sentence as much as it felt like a trip towards paradise. He was both horrified and elated.

_We're tired. We just want it to be over._

Before he knew it, Raphael's fingers were inches away from Lucifer's. Both could tell that Raphael was shaking.

 _We just want...paradise._  
  
And before the tips of their fingers touched, Raphael pulled away violently and glared at his brother. Lucifer let his arm fall to his side and he stared, with a mixture of sorrow and endearment, as Raphael retreated a few steps back.

Raphael clutched the hand that nearly touched Lucifer close to his chest, treating it as if the archangel that had crawled out of Hell had just burned him with the flames of damnation. By habit, he felt like reporting back to Michael about this sinister act, but he didn't.  
  
He just stood there and stared at his smiling brother until both of them appeared sad and lost.

"Did you miss me?"

Lucifer asked, voice gentle.

Commands in Raphael's head flew about demanding an insult be sprang or a violent fist be swung, but Raphael resisted all these nasty urges (how could The Apocalypse go on if its perpetrator was injured?) and answered truthfully.

"Yes."

Lucifer's smile was so frighteningly full of regret, and shame.

"I missed you too."

Before Raphael could respond, arms came around him in a quick, barely noticeable embrace. It made Raphael's heart flutter. The next thing he knew, he was back in Heaven, inside a large hallway, near Michael and Zachariah. The latter was mumbling a nonsensical list of apologizes for his repeated failures. The sudden relocation left Raphael wondering if anything he just experienced was real.

He was left in a daze, confused and sad and hurt, the latter born from nearly receiving the hug he had missed for so many years. He tried really hard not to weep. His sorrowful mood, however, did not last long at all. He could hear, once again, a song being played by his brother Lucifer.

Although there was no proof that he ever answered the call, Raphael chose to stay in Heaven and quietly listen to the music. It was a new piece, and he knew full well, despite how this small rebellious act made him feel a tad nauseated, that the song had been made for him.

The prophecy must be fulfilled, but Raphael felt content to leech onto any and all chances he could spend with Lucifer. It was the only way he knew how to maintain his sanity.

* * *

"I hope we meet again, brother."

Lucifer said as he glanced up at the starry sky. He wished he had held onto Raphael longer, but things would be much less complicated and safer as long as they did as Fate decreed. Still, it was nice to know that Raphael hadn't completely been brainwashed. Judging by the way he had behaved, Raphael was merely afraid he would be punished by Michael or God.

He didn't actually believe in the teachings they forced onto him, he was just afraid to disobey.

Lucifer was forever grateful that Raphael had the courage to visit him this one time. He truly hoped they could see each other again. For the sake of it, and knowing his brother was listening, Lucifer sung another song, made just for sweet young Raphy.

 

 


End file.
